It has become common
(especially amongst that special group of humans -- geeks
-- who are incomprehensible to the rest of society), to put
signatures on email and blog postings. Some of these are
very funny.
Here is a sampling:
Wait here, I'll
be right back: Godot
Engineering 101: If it shouldn't move, you need duct tape.
If it should move, you need WD-40
I don't believe in time. It's a grand conspiracy designed
to sell watches.
It would really be awful if a massive gamma ray burst from
that supernova screwed up the rest of this
pou3u7IU89&&bu*8389*(&Y(*(¥¥90øioiuuy
I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.
Those who claim they want to save the world invariably just
want control over the people in it.
Having an advanced degree in a field doesn't make you an
expert on topics you didn't study.
It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at
the end. -Douglas Adams
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government
becomes more important than the rights of the people.
3 degrees of separation from Vladimir Putin!
My grandmother used anecdotal evidence all the time, and
she lived to be 120 years old.
This next song is very sad. Please clap along. -- Robin
Zander
About half of us were also born with
schlongs.
"Whatever happened to free culture on the
internet?" "It wasn't profitable."
Where is that guy who'd die defending what I had to say
when I need him?
Swearing and farting are both harmless fun, but never do
either around someone you're trying to impress.
A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z
a
When it comes to procrastination, casting the first stone
is definitely on my TO DO list.''
Tis women makes us love, Tis Love that makes us sad, Tis
sadness makes us drink, And drinking makes us mad.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.........
Common F. Sense was murdered long ago by Corruption N.
Greed.
The internet is the greatest source of biased information
in the history of mankind.
Nostalgia's not
what it used to be.
It's our corporate policy to obey all of the laws of
thermodynamics. Violators of said laws will be terminated.
We all make miscalculations!
The key to understanding recursion is to
begin by understanding recursion.
Bullshit is in the eye of the beholder.
A democracy will exist up until the time that voters
discover they can vote themselves gifts from the public
treasury.
...Dear God, I would like to file a bug report...
"I use a Mac because I'm just better than you are."
"Capital punishment makes the state into a murderer.
Imprisonment makes the state into a gay dungeon-master"
Demented But Determined.
Truth is chaos. Order is hypocrisy.
I took a Vow of Science.
If you think the whole world revolves around you, quit
staring at the GPS display while driving.
Knock-knock.
-Who's there?
Under the Patriot Act, we don't have to tell you that.
Disclaimer: The opinions and actions of the US Gov't are in
no way representative of those held by this author or its
ci
Who can decide a priori? Nobody. -Sartre
Jesus saves. Buddha makes incremental
backups.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me forty three times,
shame on your strategy guide ($14.99+tax).
Do not meddle in the affairs of geeks for they are subtle
and quick to anger
Another uber-geek
Douglas Adams' quote: The simple truth is that interstellar
distances will not fit into the human imagination.
I don't know if
God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He
didn't.- Jules Renard
"If everything seems under control you are not going fast
enough." Mario Andretti, racecar driver.
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
-George Carlin
Artificial intelligence came a step closer this weekend
when a computer came within five percent of passing the
Turing Test [today.com], which the computer passes if
people cannot tell between the computer and a human.
The winning conversation was with competitor LOLBOT:
"Good morning." "STFU N00B" "Er, what?" "U R SO GAY
LOLOLOLOL" "Do you talk like this to everyone?" "NO U" "Sod
this, I'm off for a pint." "IT'S OVER 9000!!" ... "Fag."
The human tester said he couldn't believe a computer could
be so mind-numbingly stupid.
LOLBOT has since been released into the wild to post random
abuse, hentai manga and titty shots to 4chan, after having
been banned from YouTube for commenting in a perspicacious
and on-topic manner.
LOLBOT was also preemptively banned from editing Wikipedia.
"We don't consider this sort of thing a suitable use of the
encyclopedia," sniffed administrator WikiFiddler451, who
said it had nothing to do with his having been one of the
human test subjects picked as a computer.
"This is a marvellous achievement, and shows great progress
toward goals I've worked for all my life," said Professor
Kevin Warwick of the University of Reading, confirming his
status as a system failing the Turing test.
Re (Internet Robots): If the reply back
about Sarah Palin is "She's great and would be the best
person to be our next president!" you are talking to a
computer.
I never metaphor I didn't like.
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody
agrees that it is old enough to know better." - Unknown
Legalize the constitution.
Oh look, its my tax dollars at work coming to arrest me.
Never approach a vast undertaking with a half-vast plan.
Athiesm is a religion like not collecting stamps is a
hobby.
On a proposed Ca law that would ban black cars:
I was thinking
that a compromise would be to allow separate but equal
parking spaces....
Just like the government. Always trying to keep the black
van down...